BUSH THE LIAR

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of Peter at
The Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" That's Nelson Mandela's. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie." Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The Hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life." Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

LITTLE JHONNY AND BUSH

So Bush decides to take a stop at an elementary school and randomly walks in on a classroom. The teacher goes "Oh its such an honor" "Mr. Bush would you mind. I was teaching the children word meanings. Could you help them with the word tragedy." So Bush agrees and asks the class the meaning of tragedy. Sarah raises her hand and says "If a tractor rolls over me and my friend by mistake, that would be a tragedy." Bush says "No, that would be an accident." So Jim raises his hand and says "If I drown because I slipped off of a dock, that would be a tragedy" Bush replies "No, that would be a great loss" So quiet little Johnny raises his hand from the corner "If an AirForce 2 Plane carrying you onboard is shot down, that would be a tragedy." Bush replied "RIGHT! Now can you tell me why it is a tragedy." Johnny replied "Because it wouldn't be an accident or a fucking great loss either."